Category: death

close-up image of girl holding yellow flower

5 Things You Need to Start Doing Before It’s Too Late

“Life is fragile.”
“You only live once.”
“No regrets.”

You’ve heard it all before, right? But have you really stopped to actually mull over these powerful words that have become so blatantly cliche?

Within the last couple of months, I have watched the news reporting about a 19-year-old learner driver who was killed in a car accident beside her father. I have found out about close family members or friends of mine, and even friends of friends that have been diagnosed with cancer. I have sat next to a friend who scrolled through Facebook to read that a person they know has had a tragic accident and at only 15 years old, died suddenly.

So when we start to reflect on these sorts of stories we hear, the cliches start to echo a hard truth to swallow. That life is incredibly fragile. It becomes something even harder to digest when circumstances happen to loved ones and people that we know.

My boyfriend and a close friend of ours were talking about this recently and it left me really shaken up for the rest of the night. I sat in bed thinking all about this concept of one day leaving those around us and sometimes, it unfortunately happens without any warning.

Something that I have realised in this process is that I want to make five intentional changes in my life moving forward:

1. Hug people tighter

I’m not saying hold on an extra few seconds at your work Christmas party as you say thank you to your boss (because that’s weird). I’m talking about those closest to you. Your partner. Your kids. Your extended family. Your friends.

Don’t be embarrassed about group hugs (tip: if everyone looks the same direction, it’s not as awkward). Give a little squeeze when you embrace people. Hug them tighter. Hold on a little longer. When your sister goes to pull away, tell her, “nope, I’m not done yet”.

2. Say the ‘L’ word more

Stop being so hesitant about telling someone you love them. I believe it is the most beautiful and powerful thing you can do. It’s often the extended family and friends that we don’t really bother saying the ‘L’ word to. I’m saying, do it.

When you’re saying goodbye to your friend that you caught up for breakfast with, shout a little ‘love ya’ as you hug them goodbye. Send a random text throughout the day to your partner reminding them of how proud you are of them and how much you love them. Tell your grandma when you visit her next that you love her.

3. Pick up the phone

Often we don’t get to spend that much time seeing our family, but in a world where telephones have been used since 1876, there really is no excuse to keep in contact with them. And if they live overseas, don’t worry, social media has you covered!

But as great as emails, texts and checking on their Facebook status updates every once in a while is, physically picking up the phone to hear their voice and have a genuine catch-up is what really matters.

4. Never go to bed angry

I remember my boyfriend and I had an argument one day. It was over something really silly and it didn’t last very long at all. However, the one thing that stood out to me was the part where he made sure we were okay, that everything was sorted and we were on the same page before the day ended.

Life is too short to be holding grudges and losing sleep over something that can most likely be solved by communicating about it openly. Make sure you are happy with the last thing you said to someone before you say goodbye or leave. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life regretting how things ended.

5. Make an effort, always

Make an effort. Not sometimes. Not when you hear that your distant cousin is terminally ill. Not when you find out your friend from high school has only six months to live. But always. If they would mean a lot to you if they were gone, start making sure they know they mean a lot to you now.

This is easier said than done, of course. Sometimes we lose touch with people and other times, we just aren’t that close to a person in the first place, but their situation has tugged on your heart and you are left sending them positive thoughts and prayers.

Often, we are thinking about those people and care about them a heck of a lot, we just don’t have the time to actually tell them. But perhaps we need to start prioritising our lives better.

Trust me, I get it. I have been there and I still do all of that. But something I am challenging myself with lately is to not only start recognising the relationships I have with people in my life, but appreciating them also. Being intentional about our relationships with others and actively seeking opportunities to share that with them is so important.

So what are you waiting for? Don’t wait until it is too late. Go tell someone you love them. Go give someone a squeeze. Go ring your grandma.

Keep smiling. x

Hey God.

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Last week really tested my relationship with God. I got home early during my double study period on Wednesday afternoon. I was emptying my lunchbox when I realised only one of my two dogs were home. 


When I said hello to my parents I asked where Mango was; our crazy little red-head Border Collie, and they said that she was at the Vet. She was in the middle of an operation where a hole was being drilled into the side of her head to release pressure that had built up over time. This was the second time she had an operation to remove the pressure. Even though it was causing her pain, on the outside she looked like the normal, crazy, cheeky, fun and energetic dog we looked forward to coming home to every afternoon for the last eight years. 

This afternoon, however, was quite different. I sat down on the floor with Maxi by my side, our black and white Border Collie. I distracted myself with my homework and decided that I should pray. I talked to God for about ten solid minutes. I thought it was a pretty good effort. I asked him if he could heal Mango and make sure that the message from the Vet to my mum would be positive feedback. “Amen.”

About twenty minutes later the phone rang and Mum answered it. She had it on loud speaker and I listened, waiting patiently for the ‘positive feedback’. His answer was not what I intended. It wasn’t what I asked God for only minutes prior to this moment. 

“Cathy, we are in the middle of the operation and things aren’t looking too good at all. Mango’s skull is actually black, it is soft and crumbling. It is literally falling apart. The cancer has spread around her head and the pressure will only just keep coming back. She is in so much pain and I believe the best thing to do is to keep her asleep. Of course though, it is your call. What would you like me to do?” I looked at Dad, thinking that he would tell Mum to allow them to wake Mango up so we could say our last goodbyes before she was gone forever. But no. It was, in fact, the exact opposite that happened. 

“No, if she is in that much pain and it is that serious, don’t wake her up.” Really God? Really. Did you even hear me or was I just talking to myself? That’s it. She was gone. Just like that. 

I guess, at first, I blamed God for it all. For taking our beloved dog away. She was part of the family; Maxi’s best friend. And now, he was going to be lost, wandering around waiting for her to never return. It was heart breaking watching him look around the backyard for her. Many tears and tissues later, I began to really think about what had happened rather than just flood myself in grief. God wasn’t to blame. He had heard my prayer, but he had also done the best thing for Mango. I was so selfish. She was in so much pain and all I could think about was myself and how much I would miss her. 

It was only then that I realised my family had to be in pain for a short-time emotionally in order for Mango to be physically pain-free forever. I suppose sometimes we really need to stop and remember that God’s plan may not always go the way we hoped, but His plan is always better in the end. We just have to scrape past the initial surface to see what lies beneath. The little bumps along the way may hurt us; emotionally or physically, but these things make us stronger and with God’s strength, we can make it through anything.

Keep smiling. x