what I learnt from singing with strangers.

Have you ever had one of those weird experiences while driving? You’re driving on the freeway. It’s 100km/hr. There’s this one car cruising at 90, so you decide to overtake. Fast forward a few minutes and the stranger has magically decided to drive the speed limit. Now they’ve overtaken you and within a matter of seconds, you’re tailgating them. Before you know it, it’s this game of leap frog. It’s awkward, hey?

Or my personal favourite – you’re matching speed with another car and awkwardly make eye contact. One of you speeds up, but then suddenly you’re both stopped at the same set of lights.  Yep, can confirm I feel you cringing from here.

GIF of Homer Simpson slowly disappearing into a bush.

Well, I have one to add to my list. One that had never happened before. The other day, I was driving by myself and had stopped at a set of lights. I looked in the rear view mirror at the car behind me to find a young couple absolutely belting out a banger.

Usually, I would smirk a little and exhale slightly at this sort of behaviour, because I know well and truly that it would be something I would do. However, this situation deserved something so much more. Their passion and enthusiasm were somewhat invigorating.

Naturally, I wondered what song they were listening to that required such aggressive dance moves. I began channel surfing, flicking through the frequencies trying to determine the song that, unbeknownst to the pair of strangers, they were performing for me. Eventually, I reached The Edge 96.1 and Dessert by Dawin was playing.

Now, if you know the song – this next part will make more sense. Confident that I had tuned in to the correct backing track to their lip sync battle, I lingered a moment on the station. As I continued watching, eagerly awaiting the chorus – the couple delivered precisely what I had been waiting for. Right on time with the boop bup dippity dup, doopy dip dup” part, they reached their peak performance.

Would you believe me if I said, that this wasn’t even the best part? The lights turned green and I figured that was the last time I was ever going to see the dancing pair. Little did I know that we would stop beside each other at the next set of lights.

As I glanced over at the other lane, I looked over at them both smiling (the boyfriend low-key head banging at this stage). They caught me watching, so I knew this could go two ways: I either pretend like I wasn’t some creepy chick staring at their mini rave party to save embarrassment, or I do the only sane thing any normal person would do – start head banging as well.

Obviously, I immediately chose the latter. I began singing and dancing along and the couple quickly realised that I was listening to the same song. Their smiles grew even larger than I thought possible. Who knew sitting in traffic could actually be fun?

Other than being hilarious, the whole experience of singing with these strangers made me think. Perhaps the kind of attitude that I have and the type of energy that follows, not only impacts me. I have the opportunity to share my gratitude, thoughts and positive energy with those I come in contact with. Likewise, when I’m not feeling overly happy and bubbly or I have had a bad day, others see that negative energy and I am potentially feeding theirs too.

I’m not saying that we should never show that we are anything but happy. Rather, I’m saying, how about we start actively recognising how our attitude can positively or negatively impact not only our perspective but others, too.

The people we choose to be friends with generally share common values and interests. We naturally gravitate toward people who make us feel comfortable. It makes sense. To feel supported, encouraged, loved and happy. Who wouldn’t want to feel all of those things? After all, they do say, “your vibe attracts your tribe”.

They also say that “the grass is always greener where you water it”. But something that I have realised is that people are the same. Fill yourself with negative things and you will wither, but surround yourself with good people and their positivity will be a catalyst for your growth.

So I want to ask you this: if we have the ability to unintentionally make someone’s day, imagine the difference we could make if we all intentionally tried to spread positivity. With everyone actively seeking opportunities to make someone smile, laugh or turn their entire day around – imagine how different the world would be.

Sure, we might not be able to change the world, but you can make a difference in someone’s life which could mean the world to them. And I think that’s pretty damn special. I want to be that kind of world changer. Who’s with me?

Keep smiling. x

twenty fifteen.

As the year has quickly come to an end, I am left reflecting on the lessons I have once again learnt and trust me, 2015 has taught me the most.

1. Trust carefully.
This year I have acknowledged the fact that I trust people way too easily. The reality is that people will disappoint you – it’s harsh, but it’s true and unfortunately it’s taken a few of these experiences for me to realise this. When you trust someone, you let down your walls and it is this vulnerability that can be so easily taken advantage of.

2. People come and go.
I see the people we encounter and connect with as one of two things: a message in a bottle or an anchor. They either come into your life merely to teach you a lesson, then just as quickly they drift and move on to be picked up by someone else; or they support, love and encourage you, holding you down when your seas get rough. God will bring people into your life that are meant to be there and they can be a blessing or a lesson; sometimes even both, but just at different times. He can also take people out of your life just as quickly, but just remember that ultimately, He sees the bigger picture and He knows what He is doing.

3. It’s okay not to be okay.
We all have ‘those’ days and I have had my fair share this year alone. 2015 has been an emotional roller coaster and I have realised that I am a lot stronger than I thought. But, of course, that only lasts a while, because as soon as you think you are getting your life back together, something else decides to laugh in your face and go ‘ha, not yet’. You’re allowed to wake up and feel like crap. You’re allowed to want to be alone and cry. You’re allowed to have those days. Don’t feel guilty for not feeling okay. Just don’t forget that a bad day doesn’t mean you have a bad life. Don’t let a single situation you are facing determine your attitude toward everything else. Not all situations need a reaction. Amid all of the chaos, ask yourself whether the situation that’s making you feel this way will matter this time next week, next month, next year? Don’t let someone or something small and insignificant use up your energy unnecessarily and as a result, hinder your happiness.

4. Just do you.
One of the biggest killers of happiness is constantly comparing yourself with other people, whether that be people we actually know or those Instagram Famous ‘celebrities’ that pay for followers and look like they have the ‘perfect life’. Real talk: society’s standards are messed. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t count the amount of times I have compared my appearance to others on one hand, let alone two. It’s a huge insecurity of mine and I struggle with it daily, but who is to say what the definition of beauty is? I know, it is as cliche as my Year 10 creative writing piece for English, but sometimes the only way we understand it is to hear it a million times. Not only do I compare myself to others, but I am also guilty of being a people-pleaser. I get really uncomfortable and upset when I know that people aren’t happy with me and more than anything, I hate losing friends over situations that could have been well and truly avoided. If this is sounding familiar then my one piece of advice is just do you. It’s easier said than done and for me it’s a work-in-progress, but I won’t stop trying to be the best version of me I can.

5. Find your passion.
I love writing, if you can’t half tell. I also love food: eating it, that is – cooking and cleaning are not quite my thing (just ask my family – on a scale from gourmet to burns toast, I am the latter). But how can you find your passion by staying within the realms of your comfort zone? Try new things. Go on adventures. Fill up the car, grab a few friends and drive places you have never been before. Go camping. Learn a new language. Don’t listen to TLC and go chase those waterfalls. Solo-travel. Go on a mission trip. Make a bucket list and actually tick things off! What’s stopping you from doing what you love? What’s stopping you from finding your passion? And once you find that thing that makes you happy, hold onto it and don’t ever let it go.

So whether you have had an amazing year or you are keen to put this one away and start fresh with 2016, take this time to reflect on the memories, the challenges and the adventures that you have experienced this year. I can guarantee that you aren’t the same person you were this time last year. We are constantly growing and maturing and it is our choice how we let these experiences impact us – positively or negatively. What are you choosing?

Keep smiling. x

No expectations

If there is something I have learnt this year, it’s this – live life with no expectations. I don’t know about you, but when I am looking forward to something I tend to picture how it will happen, what I will say, everything. I decide how I want things to fall in to place. I don’t know why; perhaps I feel so confident with the scenarios in my head that I disregard the major factor of ‘what if it doesn’t go the way I planned?’ I flip the coin, hoping for heads, but failing to recognise that there will always be the equal chance of tails.
I read an article by Mark Manson a few days ago titled “Heck yes or no” (okay, so the first word wasn’t actually ‘heck’, but for the sake of this post that’s what I’ll refer to it as). Manson introduces the law of “Heck yes or no” which can be applied to friendships, relationships – any decision-making as it suits your current needs. However, if the decision involves two people, they both must be saying ‘Heck yes’ to the decision in order for it to happen. He says, “If I’m not saying ‘Heck yes!’ to something, then I say no.” I found this a really interesting approach to making decisions about various situations in life. If you aren’t one-hundred percent committed to something, then why let it consume you?

My Nan said something to me the other day that really made me think twice about everything. She was telling me a story about one of her friends (keep in mind, this friend would be about seventy-something) and how she only ever sits in her home by herself watching television. She never goes out of her way to meet new people let alone look outside every once in a while. My Nan believes, “that’s not living, that’s existing.” I found this so powerful, particularly because my Nan is also seventy-something and I am only eighteen. If she believes that, then what am I doing with my life? We are only given one shot at it, so why not make the most of it and not just exist, but live?

So after lots of thinking, I’ve decided I am going to try my best to no longer create expectations in my head about things that are going to happen in my life. This doesn’t mean my life goals are going to be thrown away, but rather I am going to make the effort to take each day as it comes and be realistic about it too. I am going to take on the “Heck yes or no” approach to my decision-making in life and I don’t want to just exist, I want to live! I don’t want to let my life be consumed by ‘what if’s, because I have realised that if we live with no expectations of the people we know or meet, no expectations of the places we travel to and no expectations of situations happening in our life, it’s a win-win. We won’t be as disappointed if things don’t go our way, because there won’t be a prior agenda we were trying to achieve. And more often than not, you will find yourself surprised with the outcome, because you hadn’t already decided how it would work. Why try to control things that weren’t meant to be controlled? No expectations. No regrets. 

Keep smiling. x

HSC? Done.

Oh hey life, I’ve missed you. 15 days, 7 exams and 17.5 hours of writing. That’s it. Done. HSCyaLater. 

The stress; the nerves; the last minute cramming; the messy bedroom floor; the endless supply of black pens; the constant struggle of only highlighting the “important parts” but rather making it a challenge to see how little words can be left untouched; the countdown to freedom that feels like it’s taking forever; the past papers and of course, the tears. 

I honestly can’t believe that it is over. It came and it’s gone and it all happened so quickly. I have this theory. You’re either really good at Math or really good at English. And if you are lucky (or not so lucky?) to be blessed with the brains of both, then you have just proven my theory to be wrong. For me, I am definitely not a Math person. Give me words any day, but numbers, no thanks. The only numbers I like to see is your mobile number 😉 *insert cringes and nervous laughter here*. (I know what’ you’re thinking – that was brilliant. You’re welcome). 

It’s funny though, the day before my Math exam I was outside studying in the shade. At one point, I began to feel really overwhelmed with the content I wasn’t confident with. The questions were too hard and I was freaking out. I couldn’t do this. How was I supposed to survive the 3 hour exam tomorrow? I was outside for about two or three hours and during that time the sun had moved (hello captain obvious) and I was now sitting in the sun, getting a mean-as sock tan mind you. 

The simple shift from shade to sunlight made me realise that time doesn’t stop for anyone. Those three hours of absolute hell tomorrow would be over in less than 24 hours. We have to make the most of the time we have right now, because we will never, ever get it back. This motivated me to continue studying and do my best, because in a couple of days all of this would be over. And here I am, out the other end of the dreaded HSC month. 

Everyone has days where we are just sitting in the shade and it is not until the sun moves that we realise time keeps going. Make the most of the time you have with the people you’re with. Enjoy the little things. Simplicity is what reminds us that life is beautiful, despite the HSC exams, the tiring work, the relationship issues…whatever you may be struggling with. Everything happens, but then everything finishes. So when you feel like your world is on a downwards spiral, remember that spirals eventually get smaller and smaller and when they reach the smallest point, they stop. The sun will move soon and the shadow keeping you down will shift. Trust me. 

Keep smiling. x

Flying high.

I was sitting at the park by myself the other day (I have friends, I swear). I was about to open up a book to read but was distracted by a little girl laughing. I watched her as she ran as fast as she could to allow her kite to rise off the ground. Once she had reached top speed the kite started to lift itself into the air. A short time later she began to get tired from running and her run turned into a jog, which quickly converted into a walk then a complete stop. Meanwhile, the kite was losing all its motivation to stay off the grass.

Just before the girl collapsed to the ground exhausted, an older boy, who I assumed was her brother, came to her rescue and collected the kite in his hands. He began running at full speed and with a face full of determination, it was clear that he wasn’t giving up anytime soon. The little girl looked at her brother smiling and found the energy to get up and run along behind him. 
If someone was to ask me what I did at the park that day, they probably would think I am a total creep watching children play. All I know is that those kids taught me a lesson. There are things that are challenging me in life at the moment and sometimes it feels like flying my kite is getting tiring and honestly, it is exhausting. Constantly running to keep it in the air can be difficult and just when we lose all momentum and start to fall behind, our kite begins to drop. The best part is that right before we collapse and feel like we will never get back up again, God comes along and picks up the kite in His hands. He holds onto it and never lets go, running full speed and not losing sight of where we need to be.

So if all you get from this is that maybe watching little kids at the park isn’t all that weird, that’s okay (unless you are a middle-aged man, then that’s not okay). The point is, maybe we can learn something from other people and their actions. Trying to keep your kite off the ground gets difficult sometimes, but we need to remember that just before we give up and it falls, God is there to fly our kite for us and He never lets go. We just have to get on our feet again and run with Him, because when it comes to flying kites, He is the expert.

Keep smiling. x