what I learnt from singing with strangers.

Have you ever had one of those weird experiences while driving? You’re driving on the freeway. It’s 100km/hr. There’s this one car cruising at 90, so you decide to overtake. Fast forward a few minutes and the stranger has magically decided to drive the speed limit. Now they’ve overtaken you and within a matter of seconds, you’re tailgating them. Before you know it, it’s this game of leap frog. It’s awkward, hey?

Or my personal favourite – you’re matching speed with another car and awkwardly make eye contact. One of you speeds up, but then suddenly you’re both stopped at the same set of lights.  Yep, can confirm I feel you cringing from here.

GIF of Homer Simpson slowly disappearing into a bush.

Well, I have one to add to my list. One that had never happened before. The other day, I was driving by myself and had stopped at a set of lights. I looked in the rear view mirror at the car behind me to find a young couple absolutely belting out a banger.

Usually, I would smirk a little and exhale slightly at this sort of behaviour, because I know well and truly that it would be something I would do. However, this situation deserved something so much more. Their passion and enthusiasm were somewhat invigorating.

Naturally, I wondered what song they were listening to that required such aggressive dance moves. I began channel surfing, flicking through the frequencies trying to determine the song that, unbeknownst to the pair of strangers, they were performing for me. Eventually, I reached The Edge 96.1 and Dessert by Dawin was playing.

Now, if you know the song – this next part will make more sense. Confident that I had tuned in to the correct backing track to their lip sync battle, I lingered a moment on the station. As I continued watching, eagerly awaiting the chorus – the couple delivered precisely what I had been waiting for. Right on time with the boop bup dippity dup, doopy dip dup” part, they reached their peak performance.

Would you believe me if I said, that this wasn’t even the best part? The lights turned green and I figured that was the last time I was ever going to see the dancing pair. Little did I know that we would stop beside each other at the next set of lights.

As I glanced over at the other lane, I looked over at them both smiling (the boyfriend low-key head banging at this stage). They caught me watching, so I knew this could go two ways: I either pretend like I wasn’t some creepy chick staring at their mini rave party to save embarrassment, or I do the only sane thing any normal person would do – start head banging as well.

Obviously, I immediately chose the latter. I began singing and dancing along and the couple quickly realised that I was listening to the same song. Their smiles grew even larger than I thought possible. Who knew sitting in traffic could actually be fun?

Other than being hilarious, the whole experience of singing with these strangers made me think. Perhaps the kind of attitude that I have and the type of energy that follows, not only impacts me. I have the opportunity to share my gratitude, thoughts and positive energy with those I come in contact with. Likewise, when I’m not feeling overly happy and bubbly or I have had a bad day, others see that negative energy and I am potentially feeding theirs too.

I’m not saying that we should never show that we are anything but happy. Rather, I’m saying, how about we start actively recognising how our attitude can positively or negatively impact not only our perspective but others, too.

The people we choose to be friends with generally share common values and interests. We naturally gravitate toward people who make us feel comfortable. It makes sense. To feel supported, encouraged, loved and happy. Who wouldn’t want to feel all of those things? After all, they do say, “your vibe attracts your tribe”.

They also say that “the grass is always greener where you water it”. But something that I have realised is that people are the same. Fill yourself with negative things and you will wither, but surround yourself with good people and their positivity will be a catalyst for your growth.

So I want to ask you this: if we have the ability to unintentionally make someone’s day, imagine the difference we could make if we all intentionally tried to spread positivity. With everyone actively seeking opportunities to make someone smile, laugh or turn their entire day around – imagine how different the world would be.

Sure, we might not be able to change the world, but you can make a difference in someone’s life which could mean the world to them. And I think that’s pretty damn special. I want to be that kind of world changer. Who’s with me?

Keep smiling. x

spoiler alert: you’re not a big deal.

And here we are, making it all about us. Time and time again, without fail. It’s just so easy. But what if we stopped doing all of that? Because spoiler alert: you’re not a big deal.

For some reason, we have to make sure we leave all the baggage, put on a mask and pretend like we have it all together. We have to dress a certain way, post the best picture out of the hundred we have taken and let everyone know where we’ve been and who we’ve been with. I mean, did you really go to Bondi if you didn’t post a picture of the Bondi Icebergs? #DoItForTheGram.

Real talk though. I do all of these things and more. One thing that I constantly tell myself is: “I don’t care what other people think”. But the funny part is that the one thing I know I tell myself, but don’t really mean is: “I don’t care what other people think”.

Yep, I’m a full-time people pleaser. To see perfectly curated social media feeds. To compare one lifestyle to the next. It’s no longer just a quick filter or photoshop, it’s “lifeshop”. We pick and choose the best parts and conveniently (intentionally) skip all of the heartache, the pain, and the daily struggles.

But why? To achieve what? To be happy, or to appear happy? 

For some reason, we often think we are a big deal (guilty)! But spoiler alert: you’re not. You matter, yes. I’m not trying to tell you that you don’t. But sometimes we need to be reminded that the world doesn’t, in fact, revolve around us.

We can get so big-headed and forget that there are other people struggling too. Other people that also matter. This world is so huge and I often forget how small I really am. It takes a whole lot of perspective, with a sprinkle of humbleness to really grasp it. You are no greater than any other individual. Likewise, your worth is no less. 

So here’s my question. What if?

What if we treated each other as if we were equals? Seeing anyone and everyone we came in contact with as a human. Race, gender, religion, sexuality, personal history, job, income – all of the nitty gritty things aside – human.

What if we acted as silhouettes, stripping away the facade? What if we were raw and authentic? Imagine what the world would be like if we were all genuinely ourselves? We would see each other’s mess and not only accept it, but empathise, because we would know that other people are going through a difficult time, too.

What if we didn’t judge people we had never met, let alone friends, through our screens? What if we stopped using social media as a grading system; as a way to measure up to other people? What if we acknowledged and appreciated each other’s flaws, rather than criticise them?

What if we stripped it all away and uplifted, encouraged and empowered one another? What if we stopped picturing brokenness as a sign of weakness, but rather that of strength and perseverance?

Ha, what if.

Keep smiling. x

from where I’m sitting.

She is sitting in the passenger seat, looking right at me as I perfectly serenade her with the entire second chorus of our favourite song. As I start telling her about my passion for flying and for travel, I can tell she is no longer paying attention.

He is sitting in the driver’s seat and I am listening to him sing each word so confidently, yet so wrong; his fingertips playing an invisible drum set on the steering wheel. Carefully, I watch his jaw clench; cheek pulsing as it tenses. His eyes light up as he talks about his passions for flying and for travel. Sitting there, staring at him, I can’t help but freeze.

She is sitting in the passenger seat and I doubt she has even blinked in the last five minutes I have been talking. It’s obvious that her mind is elsewhere. She has that goofy smile plastered on her face; clearly losing interest in the current conversation. Though I keep talking, because I know it’s not often that I get to say much when I am with her. While she is lost for words, I may as well take my chance.

He is sitting in the driver’s seat and he knows as good as anyone that I am hard to shut up, but for once in my life I am speechless. Frozen, with a goofy smile plastered on my face, I take in every bit of him. His entire face is gleaming and it is the most beautiful thing. He speaks so passionately. His motivation and drive inspire me as I look at him, proud to call him mine.

She is sitting in the passenger seat and I am beginning to seriously wonder if this woman can fall asleep with her eyes open. I start talking more about the places I want to visit with her. Surely this couldn’t bore her, I’m talking about her now! I tell her how this world is so incredibly big, but together, anything is possible.

He is sitting in the driver’s seat, continuing to talk with that sparkle in his eye. He has no idea just how much my heart longs to be his forever.  He looks over at me every once in a while and I can’t help but think, he is everything I never knew I needed. He sees the entire world as something incredibly big that he can conquer and yet if he had asked me what I see my world as, the answer would be him.


I didn’t mention a name, but you thought of someone didn’t you?

Keep smiling. x

stop being comfortable

Once I graduated from high school, I stepped outside of that Christian bubble that I had been sheltered by all of my life. I started meeting people at Uni and work who didn’t know God and I was often the only one who did.  It took me a while to understand that this difference facilitated a space for powerful opportunities to take place.

I have realised over the last few years that knowing Jesus and having a relationship with Him is important, but keeping it to yourself has very little impact. I have decided that this year, this is something that I want to change. I am a firm believer that neither your presence nor your absence within the church defines your relationship with God. Rather than solely focus on building and maintaining my current relationships, I want to actively and intentionally seek opportunities to create relationships with people that may not know God yet, so they too can find Jesus.

Personally, I find it easier to talk to strangers about my faith than to my close family or friends who do not share my beliefs. We tend to not only receive more judgement from those who we surround ourselves with on a regular basis, but we also value their opinions so much more. We have always been taught that ‘sharing is caring’, but how come we are so hesitant when it comes to sharing our faith?

I want to challenge myself this year to stop being satisfied with my current position; stop being comfortable. I want to challenge myself to reach beyond my comfort zone. It takes courage and a whole lot of faith, but if I can conquer that fear, then I am sure that amazing things can and will happen.

Keep smiling. x

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5 things I wish I knew before leaving school

I witnessed my sister heading off to her Year 12 Formal the other day and I felt so incredibly proud. The beginning of the end to a long thirteen years of schooling and turning the page to a new chapter post-HSC exams. I came home from work the night of Aimee’s last exam and she was glowing. The freedom she had only been waiting forward to was now a reality. I hugged her, welcoming her to this new and exciting journey. I explained to her that while she may feel like a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders, it is not all cruisy from here. Life throws lots of curveballs and you need to be prepared to face them head on, instead of let them overpower you. 

Later that night, I laid in bed thinking how that was me two years ago and how much has changed in that short period of time. I reminisced about the challenges that I faced as I completed my exams and my personal experiences of that taste of ‘freedom’ that followed. I quickly wrote down a few things that I wish I had known when I waved school goodbye, with the intention of sharing these pieces of advice with my sister.

1. Be open minded. 
You’ll meet new people with different values and morals to you. Don’t let that dishearten you, but rather listen to their perspectives, explore new avenues and deepen your own understanding. Don’t be stubborn and close-minded. Always be willing to learn and grow. Knowledge is power. Stand up for what you believe in, but don’t shut down others for their beliefs. 

2. Embrace challenges. Acknowledge that things won’t be easy, but when difficulties arise, take those moments to pause and evaluate the situation from multiple directions. Sometimes we limit ourselves to the things we want to see and are oblivious to the things we should or need to be focusing on. Your attitude and perspective changes everything, so adjust them accordingly.

3. Find your passion and run with that. Do something that you love, but also try new things – you may love something that you don’t even know yet! The first step is finding something that you love, but the most important thing is believing in that. Never be scared to step outside your comfort zone. Often, you will find that you will make new experiences, meet new people and have the opportunity to reveal your hidden talents when you take a risk and try something different. 


4. Make time for your friends. It is different after school, because you have to put time and effort into maintaining your friendships. You grow up with these people and you learn from each other. These relationships are important and you will find that once you go your separate ways, it is much more difficult to hold on to those special bonds you have created. All relationships work better when equal amounts of effort is put in by everyone involved.


5. Remember that you are Loved. You will quickly realise that this world is messed up. There are so many things going on, not only on a global scale, but even within our local surroundings. It is okay to feel overwhelmed by all of these things, but also remember to have faith that there is something much bigger and greater than all of these materialistic and temporary things. In a world full of chaos, let this reminder bring you peace. 

Growing up is an exciting, but scary and fun, yet challenging experience. I have realised in the last two years, that I have already grown and matured so much. But more importantly, I have realised that this growing and maturing never stops.

Keep smiling. x

What does your faith look like?

Earlier this year I was at Hillsong for an annual women’s conference called Colour. Simply put: three days of an intense spiritual high in a room full of oestregen. One of my favourite things about Hillsong would have to be their passion when it comes to worship through music. There are literally thousands of women packed in the one room, all singing to the same God. It is the most incredible feeling being surrounded by so many others who share the same belief as you. But that isn’t what made me tear up while singing.
As the musicians were up on stage, beautiful music and voices filled the auditorium with women standing everywhere with their eyes shut and hands raised – completely and utterly engrossed in the moment and in love with their God. I glanced around, smiling and taking it all in. This is what Heaven will be like – the epitome of love, passion and happiness. Kind of like a jar full of skittles with all the green ones removed, but better. So. Much. Better.
As I continued to look around the room, my eyes were drawn to the women in the front row of the seated area next to the sound desk. It was reserved especially for those with a disability, namely the deaf women. There was a lady signing all the lyrics to the women so they could understand and sing along. My eyes immediately filled with tears as I watched them so passionate and enthusiastic about worshipping. It completely blew me away. I could hear the drums, the guitar, the keyboard, the synthesiser, the singers, the voices of the thousands of women – everything. But they could hear nothing. It made me wonder whether their disability was their catalyst for such passionate faith. So often we get distracted by all this artificial, ‘white noise’ constantly surrounding us that we lose focus of what it really means to love God or worse, we lose focus of God, period. A part of me felt terrible for enjoying the beautiful chorus of sounds I could hear so easily, sounds that they would never have the chance of experiencing. But then another part of me was filled with this overwhelming sense of joy, compassion and awe. They were proud of their faith and their faith was incredible. I want my faith to be like theirs – complete, unhidden and made manifest among others.  
I was on the train this afternoon making my way home from Uni and after three hours of back-to-back classes all finishing before midday the first thing I was looking forward to was sitting down on the train with some food and my headphones in – Uni students, ya feel me? It is a common pet-hate of all commuters – train, bus, plane, ferry, yacht, you name it – when you finally take a seat and get comfortable and all of a sudden what seems to be the only audible thing is a baby crying or a kid testing out the highest decibel he can reach without his core body temperature resulting in a physical combustion (not sure if that’s an actual thing). Well the latter, yeah that happened to me today. Usually in this situation I would preferably want said kid to wipe me out in his path of obliteration, but today was different (well, at least almost). I took my seat on the train and after about five minutes I heard this young boy, probably five years old, make his way down the stairs to my carriage and sit by the window providing commentary on everything that was happening outside to his Mum who was upstairs sitting down holding on to a stroller. 
“MUM LOOK THERE IS A FOOTPATH. DID YOU SEE THE BIG YELLOW, BLACK AND BLUE SIGN? MUMMMM, IS THAT OUR STATION? OH, IT’S NOT OUR STATION MUM, WE DIDN’T SLOW DOWN AT THAT ONE. WHEN IS OUR STATION?” This went on for a solid ten minutes, with thirty-second intervals if he was feeling generous. I turned up my music louder and tried to zone out before I seriously started considering testing out the train’s emergency stop system. A few more minutes passed when the little boy piped up again, but this time with something I could not help but smile at: 

“HEY MUM?”
“Yes bub?”
“I LOVE YOU!”
“I love you too darling.”
“NO, MUM, LIKE I REALLY REEEEEAAAALLLLY LOVE YOU.”
“I really really love you too.”

I looked around the carriage and every single person who had heard it had a small smile appear on their face. It made me think, what if our faith was like that? Complete, unhidden and made manifest among others. What if we weren’t ashamed to tell others how much we loved God? What if we were proud of our faith? 
Ask yourself, what does your faith look like? 
Keep smiling. x

How to be happy: rule #1

As a Communications student majoring in Digital and Social Media, it is safe to say that I spend a lot of time talking about, learning about and of course using Facebook, Instagram, you name it. The other day I was on Instagram and came across this quote:

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

It is so true. We are continuously trapped in this vicious cycle of comparing ourselves with other people. Simply thinking that their social media profile is full of amazing, flawless pictures automatically means that their life must be perfect and they’ve got it all together, right? Wrong.

I think we tend to forget how much of a superficial world we live in today. And I’m writing to myself here as well. Almost every picture you see is edited in one way or another. One filter can cover all the blemishes, or hey if you’re not wearing makeup that day, just resort to the old-fashioned black and white – they’ll never be able to tell. But this isn’t the main problem. Social media is a perfect way for us as individuals to share our life with others with a simple click of a button. The thing that we often forget, is that we only share what we want to share – we get to pick and choose what parts of our life other people get to see. This is the same for that girl, or guy, you have been stalking on Instagram for the last twenty minutes. We filter through (pun intended) the thirty-two almost identical selfies and pick the one we like the best.

Don’t compare your life with another person’s newsfeed. Just like you, they are probably only sharing the parts of their life that will get them the most ‘likes’. I am not saying this is a bad thing or you should delete all of your social media accounts because they are from the devil. If that was the case, I think I am studying the wrong degree. Rather, I want this to be an encouragement, even just for one person, to be open-minded and consider that what you are seeing doesn’t necessarily depict what is going on in their ‘behind-the-scenes’. Everyone experiences ups and downs in life, because spoiler alert – that’s life. Just because you’re not seeing it on their newsfeed, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. So next time you are scrolling through your different social media accounts, keep that in mind, because one of the best rules to being happy is to stop comparing yourself to others.

I heard a pastor say during his sermon the other day that although it is still an issue, money is no longer the primary roadblock getting in the way of our relationship with God. Instead, it is this growing trend of narcissism. WE ultimately drive the wedge further between God and us. 

“Don’t become so well-adjusted and conform to the pattern of this world that you fit into it without even thinking” – Romans 12:2 (NIV & MSG). 

We focus too much on ourselves that we forget that all of this is just temporary. The love of God and his promise of life with Him – now that’s something that lasts forever.

Keep smiling. x

Fear.

fearnoun // an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm caused by someone or something.

You didn’t ask the lonely boy at the bus stop if he was okay, because you were afraid of his response. You didn’t tell your parents about what happened the other night, because you were afraid they wouldn’t understand. You decided to skip church last Saturday, because you were afraid of rejection. You ________________ because you were afraid. You fill in the gaps. But the question is, would you do it if you were not afraid?

Fear is something we cannot control and although we may not be able to have the ability to pick and choose what we are afraid of, we can decide how we react.

“Throw yourselves into the world and make your voice count. Do not be afraid of fear or the unknown, because it sharpens you, it challenges you and it makes you stronger. When you run away from fear, you also run away from the opportunity to be your best possible self.”

How will you ever know unless you don’t try? I’m not suggesting you go and smoke that cigarette because you simply want to confirm that they taste terrible. Rather, I’m suggesting you step back and look at things from multiple perspectives – rationally and emotionally. Recognise the different angles and consider them all first. Don’t be narrow-minded and be paralysed by your fear. Try new things and allow yourself to experience the beautiful things life has to offer, so that when your time comes you can look back at your life and have no reason to say, “God, just give me a couple more minutes, I forgot to…”

Keep smiling. x