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5 Things You Need to Start Doing Before It’s Too Late

“Life is fragile.”
“You only live once.”
“No regrets.”

You’ve heard it all before, right? But have you really stopped to actually mull over these powerful words that have become so blatantly cliche?

Within the last couple of months, I have watched the news reporting about a 19-year-old learner driver who was killed in a car accident beside her father. I have found out about close family members or friends of mine, and even friends of friends that have been diagnosed with cancer. I have sat next to a friend who scrolled through Facebook to read that a person they know has had a tragic accident and at only 15 years old, died suddenly.

So when we start to reflect on these sorts of stories we hear, the cliches start to echo a hard truth to swallow. That life is incredibly fragile. It becomes something even harder to digest when circumstances happen to loved ones and people that we know.

My boyfriend and a close friend of ours were talking about this recently and it left me really shaken up for the rest of the night. I sat in bed thinking all about this concept of one day leaving those around us and sometimes, it unfortunately happens without any warning.

Something that I have realised in this process is that I want to make five intentional changes in my life moving forward:

1. Hug people tighter

I’m not saying hold on an extra few seconds at your work Christmas party as you say thank you to your boss (because that’s weird). I’m talking about those closest to you. Your partner. Your kids. Your extended family. Your friends.

Don’t be embarrassed about group hugs (tip: if everyone looks the same direction, it’s not as awkward). Give a little squeeze when you embrace people. Hug them tighter. Hold on a little longer. When your sister goes to pull away, tell her, “nope, I’m not done yet”.

2. Say the ‘L’ word more

Stop being so hesitant about telling someone you love them. I believe it is the most beautiful and powerful thing you can do. It’s often the extended family and friends that we don’t really bother saying the ‘L’ word to. I’m saying, do it.

When you’re saying goodbye to your friend that you caught up for breakfast with, shout a little ‘love ya’ as you hug them goodbye. Send a random text throughout the day to your partner reminding them of how proud you are of them and how much you love them. Tell your grandma when you visit her next that you love her.

3. Pick up the phone

Often we don’t get to spend that much time seeing our family, but in a world where telephones have been used since 1876, there really is no excuse to keep in contact with them. And if they live overseas, don’t worry, social media has you covered!

But as great as emails, texts and checking on their Facebook status updates every once in a while is, physically picking up the phone to hear their voice and have a genuine catch-up is what really matters.

4. Never go to bed angry

I remember my boyfriend and I had an argument one day. It was over something really silly and it didn’t last very long at all. However, the one thing that stood out to me was the part where he made sure we were okay, that everything was sorted and we were on the same page before the day ended.

Life is too short to be holding grudges and losing sleep over something that can most likely be solved by communicating about it openly. Make sure you are happy with the last thing you said to someone before you say goodbye or leave. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life regretting how things ended.

5. Make an effort, always

Make an effort. Not sometimes. Not when you hear that your distant cousin is terminally ill. Not when you find out your friend from high school has only six months to live. But always. If they would mean a lot to you if they were gone, start making sure they know they mean a lot to you now.

This is easier said than done, of course. Sometimes we lose touch with people and other times, we just aren’t that close to a person in the first place, but their situation has tugged on your heart and you are left sending them positive thoughts and prayers.

Often, we are thinking about those people and care about them a heck of a lot, we just don’t have the time to actually tell them. But perhaps we need to start prioritising our lives better.

Trust me, I get it. I have been there and I still do all of that. But something I am challenging myself with lately is to not only start recognising the relationships I have with people in my life, but appreciating them also. Being intentional about our relationships with others and actively seeking opportunities to share that with them is so important.

So what are you waiting for? Don’t wait until it is too late. Go tell someone you love them. Go give someone a squeeze. Go ring your grandma.

Keep smiling. x

12 life changing lessons I Learnt in 12 Months

12 Life-Changing Lessons I Learnt in 12 Months.

As the New Year is well and truly underway, I spent the last few days reflecting on the experiences I encountered in 2017. The last twelve months taught me a lot, so here’s a little recap of the life-changing lessons that I have learnt.

1. conversation is crucial to healing.

January taught me that conversations are important – particularly during the healing process. Whether it be through grieving the loss of someone significant, or through accepting some sort of change in your life.

Perhaps it is even forgiving a person who has hurt you in the past and letting go of the grudge you have been holding on to for so long. Acceptance and moving on can be incredibly difficult, but I have learnt that being open and honest with someone allows you to experience vulnerability in a way in which it frees you.

2. your testimony is always worth sharing.

I had the opportunity in February to share my testimony at a youth program, in which I spoke about the impact my sister’s accident had on my life. Life is all about people and we can choose how we interact with those we come in contact with.

It could begin as small talk with a cashier at your go-to coffee shop, or connecting with a lifelong friend on a deeper level. However it may be, if the opportunity presents itself, don’t take it lightly. Your story is so much more powerful than you think and no one can take that away from you.

3. don’t let the white noise distract you from god. 

It was at the Hillsong Colour Conference in March that my eyes were drawn to the row reserved for deaf women. I watched the translator sign the lyrics to the ladies – completely engrossed in the moment and in love with their God. I could hear everything, yet they could hear nothing. It made me wonder whether their disability had been a catalyst for such passionate faith.

Often we get distracted by the artificial ‘white noise’ constantly surrounding us that we lose focus of what it means to love God, or worse, we lose focus of God altogether. As I witnessed them in worship, I prayed that my faith would be a reflection of theirs – complete, unhidden and made manifest among others. In a world full of chaos and distraction, ask yourself: what would my faith look like if I stripped away all of this background noise?

4. travel when you can.

I visited Melbourne for the first time in April and explored the Great Ocean Road. I have learnt that when it comes to travel, you need to find a way to make it work. Whether that means booking the tickets when they’re on sale and letting future Jess worry about it (obviously not speaking from experience) or saving some money by making more of an effort to take lunch to work rather than purchasing it.

Travel teaches you perspective. Regardless of where you go, as you experience different places you realise just how small you are and how big the world really is. You not only discover more about other places, people and their culture, but you learn more about yourself, too. It really is a reality check when you appreciate how vastly different each of our journeys are.

5. consider closed doors as an opportunity for new ones to open.

I was let go from my position as an employee at my local supermarket in May. Rewind a month prior and I was having an interview at a digital marketing agency. Little did I know that while the door to my supermarket gig was quickly closing, another was opening.

Fast forward to now and I have been employed as a social media contractor at my old work place, while also working part time at the digital agency. Often some doors close in order for us to grow, learn and as a result, step outside the confines of our comfort zones to try something new. The answer will always be ‘no’ if you don’t give it a shot, so why miss out on the possiblity of a ‘yes’?

6. friends shouldn’t be convenient.

The usual “how are we already half way through the year?” question hit me hard in June. I realised that three years ago I had been studying for my Year 12 trial exams, which reminded me how different things are now, after school.

Friendships suddenly require effort. Life quickly gets busy and you need to intentionally set time aside to catch up. I hate losing friends and I care too much about people, but sometimes you inevitably drift from others. I have learnt this lesson the hard way – a few times now. Friendships require effort from both sides. Be genuine, be authentic and be intentional with your friends. Don’t choose friends just because they are convenient.

7. stop waiting for a better offer.

Our generation is lacking commitment at a rapidly growing rate, as the ability to change our minds at the drop of a hat (and the fact it is deemed acceptable) is easier than ever thanks to social media. I held my 21st party in July and this, along with other events throughout the year, helped amplify my recognition of this behaviour.

We are invited to a party, but wait to find out who will be there before committing to going. Then the morning of the party, a group of your other friends suggest more appealing plans, so you log on to Facebook and quickly change your RSVP – or better yet, you haven’t responded to the event anyway, ‘just in case something comes up’.

I have done it and chances are, you probably have too. Welcome to the era of FOMO. We constantly choose to wait for a better offer and we have a fear of missing out. Perhaps we need to stop tolerating this excuse for commitment (and frankly, just being polite) and stop taking other people for granted.

8. you don’t need to fear the unknown.

From a simple blood test to see if I was iron deficient, to an ultra sound and more – I found myself consistently fearing the unknown in 2017. August in particular was terrifying, with an appointment for both an endoscopy and colonscopy just days after my 21st birthday. Waiting for test results was worrying. The uncertainty was unsettling and I was caught in this never-ending cycle of ‘what if’ – questioning everything and overthinking the smallest things.

We tend to jump to conclusions very quickly; overlooking the finer details. One of the most important things we overlook is the fact that God knows our before, our now and our after. He sees everything. However, I learnt that our own perspective is limited to the before and now, so don’t fail to remember that the unknown is in fact known to Him.

9. do something that scares you.

September was uncomfortable. It was exciting and brought me a lot of great opportunities, but it was scary and it was uncomfortable. I presented three separate pitches in front of real-world clients and I took the plunge and decided to start my own freelancing business.

We can choose to be comfortable and settle for our current position, or we can choose to not be scared of stepping outside the confines of our comfort zone. By choosing to do something that scares us, we give ourselves the opportunity to learn and grow – and nothing bad has ever come from learning and growing. Maybe we need to do a regular self-check and consider whether we are genuinely happy with our current position or just comfortable.

10. uni group assignments will never not be bad.

If you say otherwise, you either never went to university or you are lying. In October, I graduated university. When it comes to working alongside people, there are always times when personalities clash. For the last three years, I had my fair share of group assignments and no, they weren’t fun.

People can be challenging, but remember to be open-minded. Hear each other out, be understanding and empathetic. Other people will have different views, ideas and beliefs to you, but rather than being close-minded, listen and be challenged. Stand your ground on what you belief, but don’t let pride or stubborness impinge on your ability to be accepting.

11. celebrate the little things, often.

Instagram has allowed me to use my blog as a plaftorm to reach hundreds of people through my writing. It has also given me the opportunity to meet so many inspiring people who share my passion. My platform continued to grow in November, however it is easy to become disheartened when you begin comparing your growing to other people’s milestones – particularly when it comes to chasing your dreams.

Having big goals is not a bad thing, but don’t feel disheartened when you see other people achieving bigger dreams quicker. Let that motivate you, rather than discourage you. Choose to celebrate the little things and don’t feel silly for getting excited about it. Acknowledge how far you have come and allow those moments to be a catalyst for further growing.

12. make time for those who matter.

It’s almost as if once December arrives, so too does everything else. And by ‘everything else’, you know exactly what I mean – the busy shops filled with people who suddenly can’t steer shopping trolleys, the crazy family gatherings each weekend, the hectic holiday planning and the Michael Buble and Mariah Carey albums on repeat.

We get caught up with work and other distractions, that we become busy and priortise the wrong things. I learnt in 2017 to make time for those who matter. Family is important and we often don’t take enough time out to be present in the lives of those who mean the most to us. Make sure you remember to put the right things first.

So here’s to another year of learning. All the best for 2018!

Keep smiling. x

spoiler alert: you’re not a big deal.

And here we are, making it all about us. Time and time again, without fail. It’s just so easy. But what if we stopped doing all of that? Because spoiler alert: you’re not a big deal.

For some reason, we have to make sure we leave all the baggage, put on a mask and pretend like we have it all together. We have to dress a certain way, post the best picture out of the hundred we have taken and let everyone know where we’ve been and who we’ve been with. I mean, did you really go to Bondi if you didn’t post a picture of the Bondi Icebergs? #DoItForTheGram.

Real talk though. I do all of these things and more. One thing that I constantly tell myself is: “I don’t care what other people think”. But the funny part is that the one thing I know I tell myself, but don’t really mean is: “I don’t care what other people think”.

Yep, I’m a full-time people pleaser. To see perfectly curated social media feeds. To compare one lifestyle to the next. It’s no longer just a quick filter or photoshop, it’s “lifeshop”. We pick and choose the best parts and conveniently (intentionally) skip all of the heartache, the pain, and the daily struggles.

But why? To achieve what? To be happy, or to appear happy? 

For some reason, we often think we are a big deal (guilty)! But spoiler alert: you’re not. You matter, yes. I’m not trying to tell you that you don’t. But sometimes we need to be reminded that the world doesn’t, in fact, revolve around us.

We can get so big-headed and forget that there are other people struggling too. Other people that also matter. This world is so huge and I often forget how small I really am. It takes a whole lot of perspective, with a sprinkle of humbleness to really grasp it. You are no greater than any other individual. Likewise, your worth is no less. 

So here’s my question. What if?

What if we treated each other as if we were equals? Seeing anyone and everyone we came in contact with as a human. Race, gender, religion, sexuality, personal history, job, income – all of the nitty gritty things aside – human.

What if we acted as silhouettes, stripping away the facade? What if we were raw and authentic? Imagine what the world would be like if we were all genuinely ourselves? We would see each other’s mess and not only accept it, but empathise, because we would know that other people are going through a difficult time, too.

What if we didn’t judge people we had never met, let alone friends, through our screens? What if we stopped using social media as a grading system; as a way to measure up to other people? What if we acknowledged and appreciated each other’s flaws, rather than criticise them?

What if we stripped it all away and uplifted, encouraged and empowered one another? What if we stopped picturing brokenness as a sign of weakness, but rather that of strength and perseverance?

Ha, what if.

Keep smiling. x

Fear of the Unknown: Then vs. Now

– THEN –

I sat in my bedroom thinking that this time next week, I would be waiting in a hospital room. Waiting to be put to sleep for a short amount of time so they can hopefully find out what part of me isn’t working properly. Short story: yep, I am scared as all heck.

There’s something about the unknown that is, put simply – terrifying. I am a control freak. I want to know what is happening, where, why and when. I want to know everything. I don’t like surprises – unless that surprise has four legs and barks.

My journey with doctor visits and blood tests started roughly ten months ago. I made an appointment with a GP to merely have a chat and build a rapport with a female doctor. At the time, I didn’t really think there was anything wrong with me (albeit, my family and friends like to tell me there’s plenty!) Turns out they were partially right – although, in a different way to what they suggested.

Considering I never really had any record of my health on file, my new doctor suggested I get a blood test. Little did I know that my first blood test would lead to seven more, a diagnosis of iron deficiency, an ultrasound, a brain MRI, three stool tests and (this time next week) a hospital appointment for both a colonoscopy and gastroscopy. Basically: a tube up my bum and a tube down my throat – not at the same time and not the same tube (you know, in case you were wondering). Needless to say, this was all very unexpected and I’m sitting there like:

As you can tell, I try my hardest to make light of an incredibly dull and unexpected situation. The last couple of weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion. I celebrated my twenty-first birthday and started my final semester of university, but amid the excitement and celebration, I couldn’t seem to shake that feeling in the back of mind reminding me of what was just around the corner.

Time has a funny way of slowing down right before the things you don’t want to happen are about to happen. The months before your HSC exams or the days before you have to get your wisdom teeth removed – you just want it to be over, but it tends to feel like forever. That horrible and unsettling feeling inside you starts to bottle itself up. You begin to dread the days right beforehand. No matter how hard you try to direct your focus elsewhere – on happier things, it’s so hard not to revert back to consciously thinking about what is to come.

That’s exactly how I am feeling. Putting on a smile and trying to focus my attention and attitude on the positive by distracting myself by other things. But that’s all it is: a distraction. Focusing on these things isn’t going to do anything about what inevitably has to happen.

– NOW –

I arrived back home from the day surgery not very long ago and considering I was sedated about two hours ago, I am feeling pretty good. The results showed I had a 5mm polyp that the doctor froze off and due to some questions remaining unanswered, I have to complete a pill cam endoscopy test in a week’s time. While I have been feeling fairly bummed this whole time (last pun, I promise), I have learnt so much from this whole experience. The thing that put it all in perspective was the incredible sunrise on the way to the hospital and the amazing sunset that evening. The entire day I had been dreading had both begun and ended with His promise “I am with you, always” and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

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These last ten months I have had to do things I haven’t wanted to – time and time again. I have been pushed outside my comfort zone and boy, was it uncomfortable. I whined and cried more than I probably should have, but it all boiled down to the fact that the unknown was well and truly freaking me out.

Another fun fact about me: I overthink everything. I made up situations in my head asking questions like, ‘what if they find something serious?’ or ‘what if this isn’t the end of it all?’ The biggest lesson I have learnt is that in reality, we have no idea what the future holds – whether it be tomorrow, next month or three years from now. But God is a loving and caring God and He knows. We can’t control what happens in life – no matter how much we wish to, but we can control the way we react to situations we face. Fear can paralyse you or mobilise you – it’s your choice.

I still don’t know if this hospital visit will be my first and last, and whether this pill cam endoscopy is the end of it all, but regardless, I am holding onto the promise that God is in control. I have no idea about what is going to happen in the future, but for once in my life, I am coming to terms with the fact that I am okay with that.

“Why would I fear the future? For I am being pursued only by your goodness and unfailing love.” – Psalm 23:6

Whatever you are going through right now – a relationship breakup, hurt within the family, financial struggles, work stress, health problems, battles with your insecurities, whatever – you will make it. You have made it this far already, so I promise you that you will make it. Stop dwelling on the past or the pain that you are feeling now. Focus all of your energy on the good; no matter how small or insignificant you may think it is compared to your struggles. Don’t let fear of the unknown or your doubt and uncertainties cloud your hope or positive energy. Wake up and choose happiness. Stop letting your emotions overpower you. Instead, let God’s unfailing love and abundance of grace overpower your fear.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” – Matthew 6:34

Keep smiling. x

6 Things You Need to Stop Doing Once You’re Twenty.

In a few months, I turn twenty-one. While that is incredibly exciting, in the last year I have realised that this decade of life – your twenties – are, simply put, when everything changes. It is inevitably when life is going to throw you the biggest curveballs of all. Even though I have only really begun my journey into my twenties, I have made a pact with myself to try and change a few things about my thinking and behaviour. So, here are the six things I believe you need to stop doing once you are twenty.

1. Stop being a door mat.
Once you leave school, it’s different. It’s not rocket science – more time and effort has to go into maintaining the friendships you had growing up. Make time for your friends, but don’t forget that it goes both ways. All relationships work better when equal amounts of effort is put in by everyone involved. Some friendships are going to drift and you will feel one of two things: numbness or pain. If it is painful, it mattered. We are taught to stand up for ourselves and not let others use you. You’re not a door mat. Welcome people in to your life, but don’t let those people stand there and wipe their feet clean as they walk all over you. Be a kind person, but don’t let others take that for granted. You deserve friends that treat you right. Don’t you dare settle for less than you deserve.

2. Stop saying yes.
As you get older, you naturally accept more responsibility. Responsibility is great – it not only allows you to show others that you are mature and organised, but you learn how to prioritise and manage your time efficiently. However, don’t forget that you are also allowed to say ‘no’ every once in a while. Don’t spread yourself too thin. Don’t take on so much responsibility that you are no longer passionate or enthusiastic about a certain cause. At the end of the day, those two things are exactly what drives your motivation to do well at something. If you are lacking both passion and enthusiasm, you will find that your performance will gradually decline. Don’t feel like you have to say yes to people. If someone asks you to help them out or take on a particular role, spend some time really considering it, especially if it is a weighty decision. Often if someone knows that you are a ‘yes’ person, they will use you as their go-to person. While you should not feel obliged to always say yes, it doesn’t mean you should stop altogether.

3. Stop saying no.
If you say ‘no’ too frequently, the amount of opportunities that have the potential to come your way will diminish – and it will happen fast. If you close yourself off, then you will never gain that extra bit of experience that could point you in the right direction. Don’t be scared of stepping outside of the confines of your comfort zone. Often, that is where the magic happens. It can be terrifying, don’t get me wrong, but you will always end up better for it on the other end. Whether you have learnt something new or acquired a new skill or maybe even had the opportunity to share your talents with others, you will find that you have also had the chance to grow as well. Sometimes you will get lucky and something new will land in your lap because of a person you have met or something you have done in the past. However, this typically doesn’t always happen, so you need to be open to trying new things. You may be adamant that your internship application will just be a speck in the hundreds of others that apply, but what have you got to lose? Show them you are passionate. Show them you are different from the rest and ready to tackle new challenges head on. Don’t wait for opportunities to find you, actively seek them instead. Patience can only get you so far, but eagerness and a curious mind will always lead you to open doors.

4. Stop waiting for your family to ring you.
Make a conscious decision that once or twice a week you will take five minutes out of your day to ring your family. Whether that is a parent, sibling, grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin – make it a priority. About a year or two ago,  I realised that I was constantly leaving it up to both my grandmother’s to ring and check up on me. I quickly decided that I wanted this to change. The relationship you have with your family is something so special and I was taking it for granted. Now, I make a conscious effort to ring them both at least once every week or two, depending on how busy my schedule is and what time I get home from Uni or work. Every time I end the phone call or give them a hug goodbye after seeing them, I now make sure I say, ‘love you!’ While this shouldn’t be some crazy, new phenomenon – for some reason it often feels natural to tell our partner that we love them every day, but when it comes to family, we ignore the simple ‘I love you’. Why do we find it so awkward to speak words of affirmation to our family? You don’t want it to be too late and have any regrets, so stop waiting for your family to ring you. Everyone gets busy and fitting in time to have a decent conversation can be difficult, but these relationships are incredibly special and you don’t want to lose that, because you’ll need them more than ever. Never underestimate the importance of a quick phone call or the importance of an ‘I love you’.

5. Stop worrying about what others think of you.
You know what they say – us ‘Millennials’ are experiencing the most severe identity crisis of all. Due to the emergence of social media within the last two decades, it’s pretty damn hard to argue against that. We constantly compare ourselves with the lives of those we may or may not know that appear on our screens. We pick and choose the parts of our lives that we showcase to others and we get so caught up on following the latest trends. We are growing up more socially awkward than ever, because we aren’t used to holding conversations that are not requiring us to only move our fingers and thumbs. We have become one of the most narcissistic generations in history – spending our own time (and sometimes money) trying to acquire people to be interested more in our lives rather than their own. Welcome to 2017! Placing your worth in the values that society has created will do nothing but feed the voices telling you that you will never be enough. If you keep seeking validation from people or things that don’t have the right to be dictating the way you live your life, then you will never be happy. You will find yourself temporarily happy until someone else tells you there is ‘just one more thing’ you can do or change to be even happier – it’s a never-ending cycle. Stop constantly trying to please other people rather than doing things for yourself.

6. Stop thinking you have to ‘do life’ a certain way.
It’s not hard to see why we are so easily falling into the trap of an identity crisis. Individuals asking themselves why their lives don’t quite match up to where it’s “supposed to be”. For starters – that’s a load of poo. The values and ideals that society creates to be ‘normal’ is not reality, but rather an augmented version of it that is unattainable. Stop comparing yourself to where others are in life – whether they are financially stable, have moved out of home, are in a relationship, have an amazing new job, or ha, just have a job. It is completely normal to freak the heck out when you reach your twenties! You not only have a slight existential crisis, but suddenly you realise that oh, this is where it gets real. Society tells you that in the next ten years you should basically have checked graduating, getting your first real job, finding a lifelong partner, moving out of home, potentially moving to another job, getting married, travelling and having kids, off the list. Sounds ideal, right? But who says this is the way it has to go? Set goals and have dreams that you aspire to achieve, but don’t freak out if it’s not all happening the way you planned – because, spoiler alert: it probably won’t.

While I am only skirting around the borders of turning twenty-one, I still have so much to learn when it comes to growing up. All I can say is, every year brings more opportunities to do just that and I will continue to use what I already know to help me become the best version of myself as I work through my twenties. So, to all my twenty-something year old friends out there, this one is for you. Let’s do this crazy decade together.

Keep smiling. x

stop being comfortable

Once I graduated from high school, I stepped outside of that Christian bubble that I had been sheltered by all of my life. I started meeting people at Uni and work who didn’t know God and I was often the only one who did.  It took me a while to understand that this difference facilitated a space for powerful opportunities to take place.

I have realised over the last few years that knowing Jesus and having a relationship with Him is important, but keeping it to yourself has very little impact. I have decided that this year, this is something that I want to change. I am a firm believer that neither your presence nor your absence within the church defines your relationship with God. Rather than solely focus on building and maintaining my current relationships, I want to actively and intentionally seek opportunities to create relationships with people that may not know God yet, so they too can find Jesus.

Personally, I find it easier to talk to strangers about my faith than to my close family or friends who do not share my beliefs. We tend to not only receive more judgement from those who we surround ourselves with on a regular basis, but we also value their opinions so much more. We have always been taught that ‘sharing is caring’, but how come we are so hesitant when it comes to sharing our faith?

I want to challenge myself this year to stop being satisfied with my current position; stop being comfortable. I want to challenge myself to reach beyond my comfort zone. It takes courage and a whole lot of faith, but if I can conquer that fear, then I am sure that amazing things can and will happen.

Keep smiling. x

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blink and it’s over.

You just have to turn on the news to realise how messed up and corrupted this world has become. This can’t be it. Why would we live to work, work to make money, make money to pay bills, pay bills to live comfortably and survive, then one day we never take another breath? There HAS to be something, someone, greater than all of this ‘temporary’ stuff.

I have always respected people who are open-minded and are willing to listen and be challenged – in general, but particularly in regards to religion. For me, my faith is my rock. The stability and strength that I find in believing in something greater than I could ever imagine provides solace when I am drowning in the waves that life is throwing.

“I would rather live my life as if there was a god and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is” – Albert Camus.

After a lot of back-and-forth contemplating and excuse-making, my boyfriend and I decided to meet at our local park and attempt to do some exercise. For me, ‘exercise’ isn’t even in my vocabulary, so needless to say, getting my lazy butt off the couch this afternoon to walk further than just to the fridge or my bed, proved difficult. Despite the heavy breathing that I experienced while developing a stitch after my first lap of the oval (I know what you’re thinking, tragic), one thing happened as we walked back to our cars an hour later that made those (poor-excuses for) push-ups completely worth it. I turned around and the sky was painted with strokes of bright colours. Sunsets are 100% my weakness and God wasn’t playing any games tonight!

Of course, I had to take a photo. By ‘a photo’, I mean multiple. And in typical Jess fashion, I drove home thinking that perhaps life is like one huge sunset; breathtakingly beautiful, but blink and it’s over. We are blessed in countless ways and the most obvious blessing is life itself. I think we too often take that special gift for granted. Make sure your sunset is worth watching.

Keep smiling. x

happiness.

Warning: personal post! Yes, it’s about relationships and you are probably wondering why I am writing and posting something so personal to me. The reason? I want to be real. And I know that with being real, comes vulnerability and honestly, I am scared – so please be nice. I have wanted to post this for a while, but I have never known if it is right or if it will actually help someone. I want to show anyone that may be reading this that relationships – whether it be with a friend, a significant other or a family member – ALL come with road bumps. I want to encourage you to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation in its entirety, not just from your perspective. So here goes…

It has taken me almost six years to realise that my happiness should not be hindered by the words or actions of other people. It also should not be wholly dependent on someone else, regardless of how close they are to you. It’s not worth it, trust me. I did just that for almost four years. My first relationship began when I was fifteen and lasted three and half years with a four-month break somewhere in the second half. To say it was easy would be a lie. We may have dated a long time, but it was the fact that I had made him the biggest part of my life that was the problem. He was number one and over everything else in my life, he came first. As sweet and lovely as that sounds, it’s not. Putting other people on a pedestal is dangerous and opens up a lot of space to get hurt. 

It has been almost a year since that relationship ended and holy heck, those following months were the hardest, most painful months I have experienced so far. In hindsight though, I have learnt a lot. I have learnt that a relationship works two ways and you both need to be putting in equal effort. I have learnt that being completely open, honest and real with one another is crucial to communicating how you are feeling. I have learnt that other people don’t define your worth and that there are people out there who love reminding you that you are beautiful, special and valued. I have realised that for all that time, I had been putting the wrong thing first. God needed to be first in my life and I had my priorities out of line for way too long. It is so incredibly important to not put worldly things on a pedestal. Love them, love it, love whatever the thing is that is so special to you – but never, ever put it before God.

I guess as cliche as it sounds, you not only learn how to become stronger through heartache, but you also learn that life goes on – and that is exactly what happened. Life went on and I have moved on with a whole new perspective toward all forms of relationships regardless of who they are with. 

Right now, as I sit here finishing off this post, I can confidently say that it has not been easy getting to this point, but I am so incredibly grateful and genuinely happy. So take it from me: your happiness is just that – yours. Avoid letting other people completely influence how you are feeling. If you are upset, be upset. If you are feeling on top of the world, then share that positive energy with those around you. But no matter what, you should never have to justify the way you are feeling to anyone (been there, done that and *yawn* waste of time). Just do you!


Keep smiling. x